How To Make Friends When You Have None
Loneliness and isolation are common in the post-COVID-19 world. Many people are out of touch with how to make friends.
In addition, relationships can be a problem for those who are socially anxious, introverted, or shy.
But humans have an innate need to connect with others. We are social beings and need occasional companionship for bouncing off thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
Hence, you may be wondering where to even begin finding friends!
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See this comprehensive guide on how to make lasting friends: https://amzn.to/3odsfA6
Making Friends Takes Effort
To start, it’s essential to understand that making friends takes some effort. It requires getting out of your comfort zone, developing the ability to approach others while also remaining approachable, and having the willingness to try new experiences.
So, you must be prepared to do a little footwork in order to create a social life. After all, friends don’t just magically appear! You must insert yourself into situations where you can meet new people.
But we can talk more about this in a bit.
Things To Remember When Making Friends
Remember, when meeting new people, avoid reinventing yourself. The objective is to find true friends who build you up and support you for the person you are, and not any pretension of yourself.
Furthermore, avoid anyone pretending to be your friend yet making passive-aggressive remarks toward you. And those who are only your friend when it’s convenient? They are toxic personalities who should be avoided for the sake of your mental health.
A real friend appreciates who you are and doesn’t try to change you. Under no circumstances should you try to change yourself just to impress someone into being your friend. If you feel your personality needs to change in order to remain in a budding friendship, it likely won’t last!
It’s also essential to give an opposite personality the chance at friendship; such as an introvert and extrovert becoming friends with each other. Differing personalities can complement each other if values are similar.
Make friends by joining a club and actively participating. Finding common ground and sharing interests with others can create a lasting friendship.
To Make New Friends, Adopt An Approachable Manner
When you want to make new friends, it’s essential to encourage others to approach you. Thus, keep your head up, smile, and make friendly eye contact with others. A smile is often all it takes to help someone feel comfortable enough to approach you and start a conversation.
First, be sure to greet others warmly. When an individual is greeted as if they are the best thing that happened to you all day, it creates warm feelings in return. People seek out those who make them feel wanted.
Next, learn how to give a genuine compliment. For example, “Hi! I couldn’t help but notice those fabulous shoes! You have great taste! Do you mind saying where you got them?”
People genuinely enjoy a flattering but sincere compliment, which can go a long way in starting a conversation. See 275 Good Conversation Starters That Lead To Genuine Friendship.
Of course, insincere compliments are easy to recognize. Thus, it’s best to avoid them.
In addition, pay attention to your body language. Crossed arms and poor eye contact demonstrate disinterest. Your full attention should be completely on the other person.
For winning conversation techniques, see Active Listening Skills: Secrets You Need To Know.
Always be friendly, but not pushy. If someone’s demeanor says they’re not into you, gently back off and wish them a great day.
Worries About Rejection
No one enjoys feeling rejected during social interaction, but it happens to everyone at times. It may help to understand rejection usually has to do with what the other person is currently going through. Thus, it may not be about you at all!
Should rejection occur, try your best not to take it personally, even though it’s difficult to do.
Sometimes, personalities don’t click with each other, and that’s okay. Thousands of people are out there, and not all will be friend-compatible. The important thing is to keep going because that genuine friend is out there and waiting for you to find them!
Find Someone Approachable To Befriend
When in public or at a party, look for others who appear approachable. It could be someone sitting alone or a woman in need of help crossing the street. You can be the one that makes the first move.
Remember, other people are afraid of failure or rejection and may be afraid to approach you! Someone who is alone is more likely to appreciate your efforts.
This leads to the importance of being aware of your surroundings and offering assistance to those in need. An elderly person across the icy pavement, holding a door open, or carrying things for an overburdened shopper. These helpful situations can create a willingness for additional communication.
Also, when seeking friendship, look for others with similar interests as yourself. For example, if you love reading, take part in activities sponsored by the local library or bookstore. If you’re a painter, take art classes or teach one.
Multiple opportunities for meeting new people and making friends are available. Such as joining clubs and organizations, signing up for a class, or volunteering! When my children were young, I met loads of other parents by becoming a PTA volunteer.
Keep reading for more ideas to meet new friends.
When you spot someone who appears open to conversation, approach them. Be the one to make the first move.
How To Make Friends By Trying A New Experience
It bears repeating that learning how to make friends involves new experiences. Here are some suggestions to try.
- Ask someone to take a trip with you.
- Get your children into sports or extracurricular activities where you will meet other parents.
- Take a class and talk to other students before or after class.
- Get a job or part-time job where you can meet new people.
- Volunteer in your community-a school, food bank, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, a museum, or the hospital
- Get involved in a small church group.
- Join a gym or start an exercise regimen with someone.
- Reconnect with old friends with whom you’ve lost touch.
- Join a local club or organization-The Junior League, Lion’s Club, or a sports organization.
- Start a club-a book, brunch, cookie, or crafting club.
- Introduce yourself to at least one to two people every week.
Making Friends If You’re Introverted
Just because you’re introverted doesn’t mean you’re always happier being alone. Instead, it relates to the fact you feed on energy from personal interests and activities. However, studies show you need interaction with others for a balanced and healthy life.
Connections with others provide emotional enrichment and socialization. When exposed only to our own view of the world, experiences become limited and stilted. But, with friends, we broaden our horizons by experiencing the world through the eyes of others.
Furthermore, without companionship, we all eventually become lonely and isolated.
Introverts who want to know how to make friends might try the following activities:
- Library events
- Museum activities
- Join internet forums
- Invite someone to see a movie.
- Go hiking or walking with someone.
- Take a local tour
- Try new things to get outside your comfort zone.
What To Do Once You Meet Someone
Once you meet a potential friend, be proactive in reaching out for further contact. Ask to make definite plans. Coffee, lunch, shopping, a movie, etc.
If someone refuses to commit, they are not the person for you. And that’s okay. Your person is still out there.
However, when someone offers an invite, take them up on it. Be willing to give friendship a chance. Refuse to let anxiety rob you of the opportunity to make a needed connection!
In addition, treat others with integrity and respect. If your new friend offers personal information, never allow it to go any further. As a result, your friend will trust and support you in return.
Finally, always be honest in the friendships you form. But also be kind. There are harsh truths, and there are gentle truths. Be gentle.
For example, your new friend asks if the pants she’s trying on look good. Instead of blurting out an emphatic “NO,” you might suggest she try a smart-looking jacket to wear over them or tell her you saw just the thing that would look awesome on her. Then go and bring back something more flattering for her to try.
But if she insists on an honest opinion, tell her that you believe a different style may be more figure flattering.
It should be noted the best combination for friendship is a group of two to four people. Moreover, attempts to join an already-formed clique are usually tricky.
Last Points To Remember
The best scenario for making friends is inserting yourself in situations where you shine. If you are a good athlete, join the local summer league. If you have a flair for drama, try out for a community drama group.
As a final point, follow people you admire on social media. Like some of their posts (not all) and leave genuine thoughtful comments.
If you can establish a mutual connection or rapport, ask the person to meet you for coffee or a playdate with your children. Or invite them to a fun event.
Remember, the more you put yourself out there, the better your chances are to make a new friend. With time and practice, you’ll become so comfortable doing it that you’ll wonder why you ever thought it was difficult!
And won’t it be nice to never wonder how to make friends ever again?
Other Relationship Posts
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References
Making friends as an adult is hard. Thanks for the tips!
It can be so hard to meet people. Especially when “cliques” have already developed. This article will help “break the ice” and find a way past this problem.
Good friends are so important! Life can be busy so being intentional about building relationships is so valuable. Thank you for these ideas!
So true, Lindsey! And I’m all about helping my readers find joy by improving their social lives and personal connections.
True authentic friends may be hard to find but it is possible. Thank you for sharing these great tips. We must be true to who we are and honest before others. Being a good listener and bringing encouragement matters for sure. Great read. 🤗
Pastor Natalie (ExamineThisMoment)
Letstakeamoment.com
Thank you, Pastor Natalie! It’s so good to see my readers are enjoying How To Make Friends.
It can be so hard meeting new people and making new friends as an adult so this is a great post! As kids we often make friends really easily but we often lose that as adults.
There’s 100% truth to that statement! Thank you, Katherine!
Such great thoughts that are helpful for someone who is struggling with making friends
I’ve been there and it causes lots of anxiety to get out there and try to make friends of strangers!
It’s so difficult for an introvert to make friends. Thank you for this article. So helpful
So happy you found How To Make Friends helpful. Makes my day!
Making new friends can be challenging especially for introverts. Your post shares advice that can be of great help.
Yes, it’s very hard for introverts, and introverts need friends as badly as extroverts.
Such a great post, especially since it’s much more difficult to connect with new friends as we get older. <3
Thank you. I loved writing it!
Thank you for sharing! This is a great post with some great reminders of how to make friends as adults. It is so hard to make more authentic friendships the older I get.
Don’t give up, Danielle! Those friends are out there and they need you!
Love this post! Full of great ideas. It’s so difficult to make friends, especially when you’re introverted and it doesn’t come naturally to you.
Hopefully you found some good tips that help make it a little easier. Thanks, Crystalyn.
Love this post! Great advice. We recently moved to a new town and found making friends here a bit challenging at first. But I happy to say that through the community center we made some really good friends. Thanks for sharing!
I’m happy to hear you made friends. But, there’s always room for more!
I love how you said that friends shouldn’t try to change you, I agree. I’ve learned the best way to make and maintain meaningful friendships as an adult is to simply get involved in things you enjoy. You’re bound to meet others with similar interests, and that’s a great starting point.
Total truth, 100% agree!
Being an introvert – I should have read this a few years ago when we moved to a new community! Thanks for the tips – I feel inspired to use the info and gain some new friends!
And i hope it serves you well! This makes me happy!
It takes work to make friends and be a friend and sadly of all the work we do this work is often neglected.
So true! And this is is the very thing we all need to feel supported and stay connected!
This is a helpful article! I totally agree when you said sometimes, personalities don’t click. I notice this sometimes when I try to bring different friend groups together. Thank you for sharing!
Yes, different personalities make the world go round so we find the ones that fit into our personal corners of life. Those become our world.
It’s harder than ever to make genuine friendships especially after covid. I have found good friends will be there when you need them and will hype you up. Great post!
Truth! Thank you, Diomayra!
These tips are SO helpful! Making friends as an adult is so hard. I am self employed and moved to a new city a few years ago which was really isolating, I would go weeks without talking to an actual human. I forced myself to join a class based gym and rented a desk in a shared office so I could meet new people.
That must have been so lonely. I do hope you’ve made a friend or two since moving there! If not, try looking for community events to join!
These are all amazing tips for making new friends. It’s important to follow thru and reach out with a potential friend something I need to work on. Thanks for sharing.
You are so right. Following through is just as important as reaching out!
It so difficult making the same connections we did as kids as adults. As life gets in the way among other things, this article gave great insight.
It’s so true we are so busy managing our daily lives, there’s not much time for friendship. Adults need recess as badly as children do so we can catch a break too!
I LOVED your article and find it amazing that we both wrote about the same topic and posted it today! Thanks for the fantastic suggestions esp., for folks who are introverted. Here are 14 expert tips from a mental health professional on how to find friends as an adult https://pantearahimian.com/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-14-expert-tips/
Great minds think alike! So happy you liked the post! Will have to read yours.
SO Important!
Yes, it is! Thank you.
Being an introvert with Inattentive Type ADHD and then moving to a new town 6 years ago, it’s been a struggle to make friends. My husband has helped a lot though – he has a lot of female cousins in our new town, and he joined a local D&D community – we’ve made so many new friends by him joining that group. I join in too when I can. But this year has been really good for me in the friendship box. I volunteered as Class Mom (PTA Rep), and recently joined a book club with a mom friend from school. My oldest and closest friends my live far away, but we keep in touch, and I’ve been trying my best to connect with hubby’s cousins and mom’s at school too. it’s so true what you said about joining groups with similar interests – it really helps.
PTA is a great place to make friends. I have scores of friends from the years I volunteered. They have so many events that you have no choice but to meet others. And the best thing is, you have your kids and PTA interests in common!
Great post. Making friends as adults is really difficult. I really love the tips and suggestions especially to take a class and socialize with other students.
It really works. And when you take a class, you get to meet people of all ages! So fun!
These are such great tips. I’ve made so many great friends through volunteering. When you find people with similar passions or interests it’s much easier to make friends.
That’s so true. Finding common ground is a great way to start a friendship! And thanks for volunteering your time!
I am such an introvert so it can be difficult for me to make friends. I have a few which is enough for me.
Just one or two true friends are all you need! Sounds like you’re gold!
It is hard for some to make friends. I grew up in a Navy family and went to 3 different 3rd grades in 1 year. I learned quickly how to make friends. But still to this day at 65, I still feel a little strange in a room of strangers.
I think that’s a natural feeling to have when you’re around people you don’t know. But it feels more uncomfortable standing there alone than approaching someone and attempting a few icebreakers. You can find some at https://joyamongchaos.com/how-to-make-small-talk/.
As an adult this is so hard to do. Lives get busy and people lose touch. I know it’s happened to me. Great tips though.
The thing about losing touch is that you can always regain it! No matter how busy you are, everyone needs that one good friend for support and friendship!
I’m an introvert so it’s hard for me to be social unless I’m at work or in a comfortable environment. I’ve been a loner for a few years and it’s hard. I just don’t know where to meet people. Plus, I keep my circle small.
A small circle can be a good thing. As long as you have a few people who have your back and you have theirs, then you are gold!
Thanks for sharing these helpful tips on how to make friends! I definitely have a daughter who struggles with meeting new people, so it’s great to have some new ideas to try out.
Please show the post to her and let her know she’s got this! You sound like a very supportive mom!
I have moved a lot in my life and have had to make friends wherever I go. I just can’t live without that connection and community. We have established an amazing group of friends through our church.
That sounds nice! I wish it was easy for everyone to make friends, but it’s a hard thing to do for many!
I am an introvert so am OK with not having tons of friends… but the interaction is nice and it is always fun to get together and hang out from time to time too. My husband has tons of friends so we always have someone over 😉
It sounds like you have the perfect social life for you! You must be married to an extrovert!
I just love this kind of article! It’s really a big help to any individual! Plus knowing this stuff will make anybody a better person or the best version of himself/herself!
That is high praise, and I’ll take it as such. Thank you for commenting on “How To Make Friends When You Have None.”
What a really great and very helpful tips you have here that can help us make new friends
I’m glad you enjoyed them!
I’m gonna share this with my sister, having more friends is great and knowing how to make friends is important
I hope your sister enjoys the post! Everybody definitely needs friends. It’s important to have those connections that keep us from feeling alone!
I am so lucky to have a true friend. We are friends more than 20 years and my life is easier with her. It’s important to feel good and be yourself in a friendship.
Yes, I totally agree! My best friend and I have been friends for 50 years! That’s a long time to know someone! Best friends are something special!
Making friends when you are an adult sometimes can be hard. Thans for the wonderful tips
You are so welcome! I hope you found something special to take with you after reading the post!
That’s amazing! This is one of the most interesting topics! Thank you for sharing this information with me.
I love that you found this post interesting and amazing! Thank you!
Always love seeing new content and this is an amazing post! I love all the tips you give for making friends. The best part is how you include being an introvert, having anxiety, and being afraid of rejection. I look forward to reading more articles!
Thanks, Julie! I love hearing from you! Your words are always so encouraging! So happy you enjoyed the post!