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How To Make Friends When You Have None

Loneliness and isolation are common in the post-COVID-19 world. Many people are out of touch with how to make friends.

In addition, relationships can be a problem for those who are socially anxious, introverted, or shy.

But humans have an innate need to connect with others. We are social beings and need occasional companionship for bouncing off thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Hence, you may be wondering where to even begin finding friends!

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See this comprehensive guide on how to make lasting friends: https://amzn.to/3odsfA6

Making Friends Takes Effort

To start, it’s essential to understand that making friends takes some effort. It requires getting out of your comfort zone, developing the ability to approach others while also remaining approachable, and having the willingness to try new experiences.

So, you must be prepared to do a little footwork in order to create a social life. After all, friends don’t just magically appear! You must insert yourself into situations where you can meet new people.

But we can talk more about this in a bit.

Things To Remember When Making Friends

Remember, when meeting new people, avoid reinventing yourself. The objective is to find true friends who build you up and support you for the person you are, and not any pretension of yourself.

Furthermore, avoid anyone pretending to be your friend yet making passive-aggressive remarks toward you. And those who are only your friend when it’s convenient? They are toxic personalities who should be avoided for the sake of your mental health.

A real friend appreciates who you are and doesn’t try to change you. Under no circumstances should you try to change yourself just to impress someone into being your friend. If you feel your personality needs to change in order to remain in a budding friendship, it likely won’t last!

It’s also essential to give an opposite personality the chance at friendship; such as an introvert and extrovert becoming friends with each other. Differing personalities can complement each other if values are similar.

Learn how to make friends by joining a book club.

Make friends by joining a club and actively participating. Finding common ground and sharing interests with others can create a lasting friendship.

To Make New Friends, Adopt An Approachable Manner

When you want to make new friends, it’s essential to encourage others to approach you. Thus, keep your head up, smile, and make friendly eye contact with others. A smile is often all it takes to help someone feel comfortable enough to approach you and start a conversation.

First, be sure to greet others warmly. When an individual is greeted as if they are the best thing that happened to you all day, it creates warm feelings in return. People seek out those who make them feel wanted.

Next, learn how to give a genuine compliment. For example, “Hi! I couldn’t help but notice those fabulous shoes! You have great taste! Do you mind saying where you got them?”

People genuinely enjoy a flattering but sincere compliment, which can go a long way in starting a conversation. See 275 Good Conversation Starters That Lead To Genuine Friendship.

Of course, insincere compliments are easy to recognize. Thus, it’s best to avoid them.

In addition, pay attention to your body language. Crossed arms and poor eye contact demonstrate disinterest. Your full attention should be completely on the other person.

For winning conversation techniques, see Active Listening Skills: Secrets You Need To Know.

Always be friendly, but not pushy. If someone’s demeanor says they’re not into you, gently back off and wish them a great day.

Worries About Rejection

No one enjoys feeling rejected during social interaction, but it happens to everyone at times. It may help to understand rejection usually has to do with what the other person is currently going through. Thus, it may not be about you at all!

Should rejection occur, try your best not to take it personally, even though it’s difficult to do.

Sometimes, personalities don’t click with each other, and that’s okay. Thousands of people are out there, and not all will be friend-compatible. The important thing is to keep going because that genuine friend is out there and waiting for you to find them!

Find Someone Approachable To Befriend

When in public or at a party, look for others who appear approachable. It could be someone sitting alone or a woman in need of help crossing the street. You can be the one that makes the first move.

Remember, other people are afraid of failure or rejection and may be afraid to approach you! Someone who is alone is more likely to appreciate your efforts.

This leads to the importance of being aware of your surroundings and offering assistance to those in need. An elderly person across the icy pavement, holding a door open, or carrying things for an overburdened shopper. These helpful situations can create a willingness for additional communication.

Also, when seeking friendship, look for others with similar interests as yourself. For example, if you love reading, take part in activities sponsored by the local library or bookstore. If you’re a painter, take art classes or teach one.

Multiple opportunities for meeting new people and making friends are available. Such as joining clubs and organizations, signing up for a class, or volunteering! When my children were young, I met loads of other parents by becoming a PTA volunteer.

Keep reading for more ideas to meet new friends.

How to make friends when you have none.

When you spot someone who appears open to conversation, approach them. Be the one to make the first move.

How To Make Friends By Trying A New Experience

It bears repeating that learning how to make friends involves new experiences. Here are some suggestions to try.

  1. Ask someone to take a trip with you.
  2. Get your children into sports or extracurricular activities where you will meet other parents.
  3. Take a class and talk to other students before or after class.
  4. Get a job or part-time job where you can meet new people.
  5. Volunteer in your community-a school, food bank, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, a museum, or the hospital
  6. Get involved in a small church group.
  7. Join a gym or start an exercise regimen with someone.
  8. Reconnect with old friends with whom you’ve lost touch.
  9. Join a local club or organization-The Junior League, Lion’s Club, or a sports organization.
  10. Start a club-a book, brunch, cookie, or crafting club.
  11. Introduce yourself to at least one to two people every week.

Making Friends If You’re Introverted

Just because you’re introverted doesn’t mean you’re always happier being alone. Instead, it relates to the fact you feed on energy from personal interests and activities. However, studies show you need interaction with others for a balanced and healthy life.

Connections with others provide emotional enrichment and socialization. When exposed only to our own view of the world, experiences become limited and stilted. But, with friends, we broaden our horizons by experiencing the world through the eyes of others.

Furthermore, without companionship, we all eventually become lonely and isolated.

Introverts who want to know how to make friends might try the following activities:

  1. Library events
  2. Museum activities
  3. Join internet forums
  4. Invite someone to see a movie.
  5. Go hiking or walking with someone.
  6. Take a local tour
  7. Try new things to get outside your comfort zone.

What To Do Once You Meet Someone

Once you meet a potential friend, be proactive in reaching out for further contact. Ask to make definite plans. Coffee, lunch, shopping, a movie, etc.

If someone refuses to commit, they are not the person for you. And that’s okay. Your person is still out there.

However, when someone offers an invite, take them up on it. Be willing to give friendship a chance. Refuse to let anxiety rob you of the opportunity to make a needed connection!

In addition, treat others with integrity and respect. If your new friend offers personal information, never allow it to go any further. As a result, your friend will trust and support you in return.

Finally, always be honest in the friendships you form. But also be kind. There are harsh truths, and there are gentle truths. Be gentle.

For example, your new friend asks if the pants she’s trying on look good. Instead of blurting out an emphatic “NO,” you might suggest she try a smart-looking jacket to wear over them or tell her you saw just the thing that would look awesome on her. Then go and bring back something more flattering for her to try.

But if she insists on an honest opinion, tell her that you believe a different style may be more figure flattering.

It should be noted the best combination for friendship is a group of two to four people. Moreover, attempts to join an already-formed clique are usually tricky.

Last Points To Remember

The best scenario for making friends is inserting yourself in situations where you shine. If you are a good athlete, join the local summer league. If you have a flair for drama, try out for a community drama group.

As a final point, follow people you admire on social media. Like some of their posts (not all) and leave genuine thoughtful comments.

If you can establish a mutual connection or rapport, ask the person to meet you for coffee or a playdate with your children. Or invite them to a fun event.

Remember, the more you put yourself out there, the better your chances are to make a new friend. With time and practice, you’ll become so comfortable doing it that you’ll wonder why you ever thought it was difficult!

And won’t it be nice to never wonder how to make friends ever again?

Learn how to make a friend

Other Relationship Posts

Managing Stress In Relationships: How To Find Peace

References

healthline.com

vieforth.com

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76 Comments

  1. Always love seeing new content and this is an amazing post! I love all the tips you give for making friends. The best part is how you include being an introvert, having anxiety, and being afraid of rejection. I look forward to reading more articles!

  2. That’s amazing! This is one of the most interesting topics! Thank you for sharing this information with me.

  3. I am so lucky to have a true friend. We are friends more than 20 years and my life is easier with her. It’s important to feel good and be yourself in a friendship.

  4. I’m gonna share this with my sister, having more friends is great and knowing how to make friends is important

  5. I just love this kind of article! It’s really a big help to any individual! Plus knowing this stuff will make anybody a better person or the best version of himself/herself!

  6. I am an introvert so am OK with not having tons of friends… but the interaction is nice and it is always fun to get together and hang out from time to time too. My husband has tons of friends so we always have someone over 😉

  7. I have moved a lot in my life and have had to make friends wherever I go. I just can’t live without that connection and community. We have established an amazing group of friends through our church.

  8. I’m an introvert so it’s hard for me to be social unless I’m at work or in a comfortable environment. I’ve been a loner for a few years and it’s hard. I just don’t know where to meet people. Plus, I keep my circle small.

  9. It is hard for some to make friends. I grew up in a Navy family and went to 3 different 3rd grades in 1 year. I learned quickly how to make friends. But still to this day at 65, I still feel a little strange in a room of strangers.

  10. I am such an introvert so it can be difficult for me to make friends. I have a few which is enough for me.

  11. These are such great tips. I’ve made so many great friends through volunteering. When you find people with similar passions or interests it’s much easier to make friends.

  12. Great post. Making friends as adults is really difficult. I really love the tips and suggestions especially to take a class and socialize with other students.

  13. Being an introvert with Inattentive Type ADHD and then moving to a new town 6 years ago, it’s been a struggle to make friends. My husband has helped a lot though – he has a lot of female cousins in our new town, and he joined a local D&D community – we’ve made so many new friends by him joining that group. I join in too when I can. But this year has been really good for me in the friendship box. I volunteered as Class Mom (PTA Rep), and recently joined a book club with a mom friend from school. My oldest and closest friends my live far away, but we keep in touch, and I’ve been trying my best to connect with hubby’s cousins and mom’s at school too. it’s so true what you said about joining groups with similar interests – it really helps.

    1. PTA is a great place to make friends. I have scores of friends from the years I volunteered. They have so many events that you have no choice but to meet others. And the best thing is, you have your kids and PTA interests in common!

  14. It so difficult making the same connections we did as kids as adults. As life gets in the way among other things, this article gave great insight.

  15. These are all amazing tips for making new friends. It’s important to follow thru and reach out with a potential friend something I need to work on. Thanks for sharing.

  16. These tips are SO helpful! Making friends as an adult is so hard. I am self employed and moved to a new city a few years ago which was really isolating, I would go weeks without talking to an actual human. I forced myself to join a class based gym and rented a desk in a shared office so I could meet new people.

  17. Being an introvert – I should have read this a few years ago when we moved to a new community! Thanks for the tips – I feel inspired to use the info and gain some new friends!

  18. I love how you said that friends shouldn’t try to change you, I agree. I’ve learned the best way to make and maintain meaningful friendships as an adult is to simply get involved in things you enjoy. You’re bound to meet others with similar interests, and that’s a great starting point.

  19. Love this post! Great advice. We recently moved to a new town and found making friends here a bit challenging at first. But I happy to say that through the community center we made some really good friends. Thanks for sharing!

  20. Love this post! Full of great ideas. It’s so difficult to make friends, especially when you’re introverted and it doesn’t come naturally to you.

  21. Thank you for sharing! This is a great post with some great reminders of how to make friends as adults. It is so hard to make more authentic friendships the older I get.

  22. True authentic friends may be hard to find but it is possible. Thank you for sharing these great tips. We must be true to who we are and honest before others. Being a good listener and bringing encouragement matters for sure. Great read. ????

    Pastor Natalie (ExamineThisMoment)
    Letstakeamoment.com

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