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Funny Wise Words of Wisdom You Didn’t Know You Needed

We live in a chaotic and challenging world, and it’s easy to feel bogged down. So, when we start doubting ourselves, we need a good dose of funny, wise words of wisdom—funny to lift our spirits and wise to motivate and encourage us.

Laughter can turn your day around, and wise words can propel you to keep going when you want to give up. Thus, I’ve compiled a list of lesser-known funny, wise quotes to stimulate your brain and entertain you.

So, enjoy these 53 witty, enlightening quotes about life and all that it brings.

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Funny Wise Words of Wisdom About Attitude

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” – Groucho Marx

“If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.”  – Pakalu Papito

“Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.” – P.J. O’Rourke, All the Trouble in the World

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”  – Maya Angelou

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin

“If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.” – Judith Martin

“I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean, and people think I’m joking.” – Unknown

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.”  – Reba McEntire. 

“When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Funny Wise Words of Wisdom

Funny Wise Words of Wisdom About Life

“People are like music. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise.”  – Bill Murray

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day.” – Robert Frost

“Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.”  – Will Rogers

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.”  – Aparna Nancherla

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” – Isaac Asimov

“Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.” – Unknown

“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.” Rita Mae Brown, “Alma Mater”

“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray

“We are not what we know but what we are willing to learn.” – Mary Catherine Bateson

“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” – Ellen DeGeneres

“So be wise, because the world needs more wisdom, and if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.” Neil Gaiman

“The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.” – Unknown

“Give me coffee to change the things I can and whiskey to change the things I cannot.” – Unknown

Funny Wise Words of Wisdom About Age

“It must be around forty when you’re “over the hill.” I don’t know what that means or why it’s bad. When I go hiking and get over the hill, that means I’m past the hard part, and there’s a snack in my future. That’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned.” – Ellen DeGeneres

“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

“Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you.” – Anonymous

The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 of the Best Humourous Quotations: Find it here!

Funny Wise Words of Wisdom About Relationships

“When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don’t have to shake hands.” – Larry David

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” – Will Rogers

“When you’re good at something, you’ll tell everyone. When you’re great at something, they’ll tell you.” – Walter Payton

“Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Shirley MacLaine

“People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.” – Mike Bechtle

“Spend some time this weekend on home improvement; improve your attitude toward your family.” – Bo Bennett

“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’” – Don Marquis

“Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Isaac Asimov

“It is useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he’s madly in love, drunk, or running for office.” – Shirley MacLaine

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.” – William Gibson

“A true friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer

William Gibson Quote against the ocean

Funny Wise Words About Knowledge

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.” – Bill Murray

There are two rules in life: 1) Never give out all the information.” – Unknown

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning” – Mark Twain

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

You have two parts of the brain; the “right” and the “left.” On the left side there is nothing right and in the right side there is nothing left.” – Stephen Kurniawan

“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”  – Steven Wright

General Funny Wisdoms

“Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery?’” – Jay Leno 

“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” – Joan Rivers

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams 

“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” – Mitch Hedberg

“The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.”  – Zach Galifianakis

“Whatever you do, always give 100% — unless you’re donating blood.” – Bill Murray

“Bad decisions make good stories.” – Ellis Vidler

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown

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Create Fun and Wisdom in Every Day

As we part ways, allow me to share one last thought. “Life is too important to be taken seriously,” from Oscar Wilde. I hope this wisdom wrapped in cocoons of humor continues to remind you that living fully means acknowledging the chaos, allowing absurdities to float over your head, and never forgetting to laugh at your reflection in the mirror.

May you continue to carry on with a light heart and an open mind, ready to find the gold hidden in all of life’s corners.

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  1. I loved this post! In our chaotic world, it’s so easy to get bogged down and start doubting ourselves. Your idea of combining funny and wise words of wisdom is perfect. Laughter truly can lift our spirits, and those wise words give us the motivation to keep going.

  2. I love these funny wise words of wisdom! My favorite is “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” 🙂

  3. I really enjoyed your post, I like quotes and it is fun for me to try to remember some of my fav sometimes. Great read!

  4. I loved this! I do a quote a day on my FB page. It was nice to see your list and what resonated with you to share with us! Thank you 😊

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