55 Funny New Year Sayings You'll Love to Share

Nothing starts a New Year off better than sharing laughs with friends and family. That’s why you’ll love our 55 funny New Year sayings and jokes. Let’s light up the atmosphere with hilarity as we bid farewell to the old year and welcome the new.

Now, it’s time to dive into fun and laughter as we celebrate New Year’s in the best way possible!

Jump-Starting January with Jokes

Resolution Ridiculousness

My New Year’s resolution is to read more, so I put subtitles on my TV.
I said I’d hit the gym this year. I hit it alright… with my car.
This year, I resolved to be more patient, but I quit after waiting 10 minutes.
I decided to save water this year by drinking wine instead.
The plan was to eat more greens this year. So far, my M&M intake has increased significantly.
My resolution was to lose weight, but I found it hiding in the fridge.
“I’ll stop procrastinating,” I said confidently, right before starting my 2022 resolutions in 2024.
I vowed to make mistakes, but I’m already failing at it.
This year, my goal is to get a six-pack. The fridge is stocked, and I’m well on my way.
I’m embracing minimalism this year; I’ve started with the amount of effort I put out.
When I made a resolution to learn cooking, the only thing that got a workout was my smoke alarm.

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Funny New Year Sayings: Countdown Quips

“Five seconds into the New Year, I’ve already broken all my resolutions.” The struggle is real.
“This year, my only resolution is remembering the actual year.” Admit it, our memory isn’t getting any younger.
“Countdown to when I start writing the wrong year on everything.” See, you’re not the only one that does this.
“Do we start eating healthy before or after I finish this bottle?” New Year’s fun often seems to clash with New Year’s resolutions.
“Hurry up, New Year! I’ve got a new year’s worth of mistakes to start making.” Nothing like ringing in the New Year to refresh that quota of oops moments!
“New Year’s Resolution: Remember why I came into the room.” You’ve been there, done that, and you’ll soon do it again.
“This year’s resolution will be to accomplish the goals I set last year, which I promised to do the year before when I planned it the year before that.” It’s a vicious cycle of unachievement.
“To everyone in advance: My apologies for whatever I say during the countdown. It’s the excitement talking.” Or is it the booze?

Party Puns

Ringing in the New Year, but can we make it a text? My bed is calling.
Midnight strikes, and suddenly, everyone’s an expert on ‘Auld Lang Syne.’ Did we all magically become Scottish or something?
My will to stay awake past ten is sponsored by this year’s countdown. Now, excuse me when I go to bed at 12:01.
Everyone needs confetti for New Year’s because we need chaos that sparkles. Plus, we don’t have to pick it up!
“This party’s so lit, even the neighbors wished they’d celebrated with us.” New Year’s cheer is good for all.
I prepared for the ball drop by dropping my expectations. Have you ever felt this way, too?
The only thing dropping faster than the ball is my battery life. Nothing drains faster than a cell phone battery.
“Remember, what happens at the New Year’s Eve party stays at the party and often on the internet.” Cheers to making memories that last.

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The Clock Strikes Twelve For Laughter

“My New Year’s resolution is remembering that a ‘midnight snack’ does not mean a buffet!” Cheers to our inevitable, but willing forgetfulness.
“So, this year, I’ve decided ringing in the New Year is better than wringing out the old one.” Letting go and looking ahead.
“I’m not late; my watch is in a different time zone.” A perfect excuse for the chronically late.
“This New Year, may your troubles be as short-lived as your resolutions.” An honest view of good wishes regarding the lifespan of most New Year’s commitments.
“The only thing I want to say at midnight is ‘unchanged’ when asked for my age.” A great answer to that age-old question.
“Ringing in the New Year before I owe more money on my credit card.” Oh, the reality of holiday expenses!
“Let’s toast to the resolution we’ll follow… for at least the first week of January.” Celebrating with a humorous dose of realism.
“If you hear loud noises at midnight, it’s just my diet plan going out the window.” Alas, it’s the death march of many a New Year’s resolution.
“My New Year’s resolution? Occasionally switching ‘reject the call’ to accept the call.” Commit to being a bit more social in the New Year.

A Funny New Year’s Toast to Humor

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” And we know that’s not very long!
“Let’s toast to the mistake-free year ahead.” Then, laugh at the notion that such a year exists.
“To the New Year, may it bring more laughter than my jokes.” A low bar to clear.
“Here’s to finding a vaccine for the hangover.” Surely it’s coming, right?
“May our wine glasses stay full and our resolutions half-full.” We’re being realistic here.
“To the coming year: may it be the one we figure out what normal is.” But probably not.
“May we live as long as we want, but never want as long as we live.” Especially when it comes to holiday fun.
“Let’s agree to disagree on what happened last New Year’s.” Some stories are better left untold.
“Here’s to doing and saying less stupid things in public.” Or at least having fewer witnesses.

Hope and Hilarity with New Year’s Jokes

Enjoy these funny Happy New Year sayings and jokes!

What’s a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
Why do you sprinkle sugar on your pillow at New Year’s Eve? To start off the year with sweet dreams.
What do you say to someone not looking forward to the new year? Don’t worry, it’ll be new and improved!
Why should you never tell secrets at a New Year’s Eve party? Because people might drop the ball!
What did the ghost say on New Year’s Eve? Happy Boo Year!
Why did the champagne bottle go to therapy after New Year’s? It couldn’t handle the pressure!
Why did everyone invite the calendar to the New Year’s party? Because it had a lot of dates!
What’s the most common New Year’s resolution? 1080p!
Why don’t ghosts make New Year’s resolutions? Because they can’t see themselves following through.
How do you make a New Year’s resolution disappear? Just start February.

Funny New Year Sayings Wrap Up

I hope you’ve enjoyed these funny New Year sayings and jokes as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them for you. Hopefully, you won’t take offense at the lighthearted fun making of short-lived resolutions. Remember, it’s all in good fun.

So, celebrate the holiday with New Year’s cheer and enjoy making your resolutions. Most importantly, laugh, make happy memories, and create a New Year’s experience to remember!

Happy New Year, My Friend!

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